HEY UNIVERSE…

Please stop sending my way any bi-sexual men, lesbians, virtual worlder incels and straight males whose equipment is not functioning. You and I are really bad at this together, hence why a professional matchmaker is needed.

I should be flattered that my presence attracts such variety but…damn. I’m not hardwired for any of that.

I know I’m a tomboy-girlie girl hybrid but please…I will repeat my order since you keep getting it wrong. MONOGAMY + Gentleman in the streets, beast between the sheets.

Stop wasting my time by mis-sexering me.