One day when I was 3 years old, my mother and stepfather were in a heated argument for a very long time. Meanwhile, I was under the crawl space of the house playing with my mated pair of Texas horned lizards that shoot blood out of their eyes if you piss them off (wtf’ kind of pet is that? I also got caught under the house playing with scorpions without getting stung just a few days before.)
When it was all over and the dust settled, my mother was crying and came looking for me to go take a drive somewhere to calm down. She didn’t say anything on the drive and I decided to cut through the tension and declare “Mommy, we can just throw that daddy in the garbage can and get a new daddy.”
OMG, I was kicking ’em to the curb even back then, lol.
