AS CLOSE TO OFF-THE-GRID IT GETS BEFORE I IDENTIFY AS AMISH…

In April 2023, for the 2nd time in 4 years (at tax filing deadline time no less), my telecom lines on the easement near my house were severed. Not by me. And the tech with his little red flag survey thingys told me it would be awhile before it could be repaired.

I live on a farmstead, but you never realize just how plugged in to the simulation you are until you completely lose access to the internet…for months. It was a few days after that it dawned on me I had purchased a HotSpot for my cell phone. FREEDOM! However using this method came with a price. I live near a mountain where triangulation to the satellite is dodgy anyhow, my house has a signal deadzone. So far, I’ve designed this website on 1 bar LTE. I’ve nearly lost my mind.

The data loading rate was so slow, I was reminded of the trauma of using AOL dial-up, with an E-machine, except minus all the fingernails on a chalkboard of the cringey handshake screeching, struggling to get a connection. The sluggishness was near identical though, any time I pressed a button, I was watching rastering icons rotate endlessly like a kid hypnotically staring at a taffy-making machine that never stops. I was starting to have a renewed respect for Guccifer. I’d rather yell at inanimate objects instead of people, so I’ve done alot of yelling at screens lately. I’m thinking in the future if I call one of my devices a MFSOB, the AI will get offended and cut me off from technology entirely. So I had better behave.

I was awakened this morning by my landline ringing. The irony here is that I normally loathe the sound of a phone ringing. They’ve fixed it! After 1-1/2 months of waiting.

Better days lie ahead.

About Lea Savoy

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